Peoria Pundit

Pete Rose will be reinstated. He will admit to betting on baseball, thereby showing the contrition his detractors demand. Unfortunately, most of these people never covered a actual criminal trial and do not realize that Major League Baseball’s case is week. I don’t see reliable evidence Pete bet on baseball. This will clear the way for Pete to work in baseball, but there isn’t an organization willing to hire him in any on-the-field capacity except as a ticket selling stunt.

We will go to war with Iraq in February or March. It will be over within 30 days and we will start doing for that country what we did for Japan and Germany.

The North Korea mess will be settled peacefully. What this actually means is the problem will fester until the next president is elected.

The New York Times under Howell Raines will continue to embarrass itself. Publisher Arthur Sulzberger, realizing that the Grey Lady is no longer the most respected newspaper in the United States, will be forced to make a change at the top.

George W. Bush’s popularity will surge. The regime change is Iraq makes him look like a warrior. But, that popularity will decline rapidly if the economy continues to fester. The American people have been giving Bush a pass on the poor economy because a.) they know the down turn started under Clinton. b.) we’re fighting a war.

“Buffy the Vampire Slayer” will be cancelled. It will be reborn with Dawn as the new Slayer. Sarah Michelle Gellar will make guest appearances.

Joss Whedon’s cancelled “Firefly” will not be immediately picked up by another network. I hope and pray that I am proven wrong, but I don’t think so. Reruns will be broadcast in marathon form on either TNN or SciFi Channel, and will demonstrate the show’s entertainment value.

“Friends’ ” 10th season is its last. The show will have its worst ratings ever. It’s run its course, folks.

“Star Trek: Nemesis” will indeed be the last movie in the franchise. Instead, The Powers That Be at Paramount will begin to make plans to re-release the Original Series will new special effects. This will include CGI to make the appearance of Klingons and Romulans more consistent with Next Generation. Fans will howl in protest, but most will never miss an episode.

The Evanston (Ill.) Express interviewed Chicago Tribune sportswriter Andy Bagnato, who came across sounding spoiled and lazy:

“If you want to cure yourself of the love of baseball, become a baseball reporter,” Bagnato said. “Baseball players are easily the worst athletes to deal with. They have an extremely limited world view, and they don’t have the highest maturity level. And with 162 games a year, you have to generate a lot of stories; you basically become a typing service. Free agency has also turned baseball into a year-round beat. I remember once the White Sox signed a guy on Christmas Eve, and I had to chase it.”

I dunno, Andy. I would smash my left testicle with a hammer for a chance to cover the Chicago Cubs. I seem to recall a story about a sportswriter turning in an article about the “boring” World Series” he was covering. As I recall, his editor suggested any reporter that found the World Series too boring might be better utilized on some other beat. As far as having to work on Christmas Eve … Well, cry me a river. It sounds a lot better than being on the cop beat and having to spend a holiday standing in the freezing rain at some crime scene. Paradise for me is spending ones life writing about baseball.

I am not going to participate in the “childish” Blogger snowball fight. But I will recount a funny snowball story from my youth. Here in Peoria, we get a lot of snow. We used to wait at the bus stop at the corner of Frye and Wisconsin avenues and as soon as the bus would come to a stop and open the door, we would let the poor driver have it with both barrells. I am deeply, deeply ashamed of myself. Of course, I wore a ski mask (it was winter) so I could still use the bus to go to the Mall.