Peoria Pundit

It’s something about the trees.

Maybe it’s the leaves. Maybe it’s the bark. But there is something about trees that weakens America’s fragile democracy.

That is why we must routinely cull some of the trees. Because when we cut some of them down, our democracy is strengthened and America’s otherwise inevitable slide into totalitarianism is postponed.

Or so thinks Phil Luciano.

In today’s column, Luciano asks readers for their opinion on what should be done to save newspapers. Because, as Luciano writes, newspapers — and not any other form of the news media — are the pillars of our democracy.

It’s complete bullshit. Journalism on television and the Internet would not exist without newspapers leading the way, he says. Therefore preserving newspapers is essential to preserving democracy itself. It’s big talk for a columnist who who wrote, I think, three columns during the past month about missing dogs (you see, it doesn’t matter what crap you put ON the paper, as long as those evil, anti-democracy trees are chopped down and pulped into paper).

What arrogance. If newspapers vanish, free market forces virtually guarantee that someone would start providing news in a different medium, most likely the Internet, which is a vastly less expensive way to distribute news to readers.

But members of the Big Media like things just the way they were. They want to preserve the institutions of journalism, not journalism per se. They can’t imagine journalism being done any way other than the way  they do it.  So all of their solutions tend to be more about propping up what already exists rather than about creating new ways commit acts of journalism. Lone writers posting news about their neighbors onto their Blogger or WordPress sites is not part of their journalism mix for these people.

One solution that’s been tossed out is to give newspaper customers some sort of tax rebate or credit. Another would let newspapers become non-profit organizations, which would keep them from endorsing candidates. Yet another would make newspapers immune to antitrust legislation. This is probably the stupidest of the many ideas being bandied about. But any solution that exists only to prop up the dying carcass that is newspaper journalism is a solution that will not work. We need to allow constructive destruction and let newspapers fail so they can evolve into online-only news organizations.

Phil Luciano wrote something dumb in one of his columns the other day. That, by itself, isn’t unusual. But this time, he said something dumb about WEEK anchorman Tom McIntyre. When Mac’s many fans let Luciano have it, Luciano responded with a tongue-in-cheek column extolling Mac’s many virtues.

But he forgot some of them:*

• Tom McIntyre doesn’t read from a teleprompter. Tom McIntyre speaks into the camera and the teleprompter, out of fear, transcribes his words.
• Tom McIntyre doesn’t “Gotta Eat.” Tom McIntyre derives sustenance from the Yellow Rays of the Sun.
• That big smile on Vanna Whitewall’s face? Tom McIntyre. Enough said.
• Bob Larson has a Tom McIntyre voodoo doll. But every time Bob tries to stick it with a needle, the needle breaks.

* The inspiration for this list.

Now this is some hard-hitting journalism. More articles like this, and the newspaper industry will no doubt pull itself out of the financial mess it’s in because of the hoge increase in readers. Keep up the good work.

All kidding aside, what the Hell happened, Phil? Did you lose a bet? Are you related to one of the participants? Did the family dog eat your real, and presumably more newsworthy, column?

Let’s recap: 1. A couple lost their dog. 2. Some people helped look for it. 3. They found it a few blocks away.

Seriously. Doesn’t the PJS have interns or stringers for throw-away fluff pieces like this?

Journal Star columnist Phil Luciano has come out against people who rob church ladies:

Peoria might be breeding a new criminal bottom-feeder:

Slimeballs who steal from old ladies at church.

There are worse crimes than theft. But I can’t think of anyone lower than a sleazebag who would prey on those who pray.

Two crimes involving elderly church-going ladies and Mr. Journalism is ready to declare that Peoria in the grip of a crime spree.

And what’s up with this comment that there’s nothing lower that a property crime against someone who goes to church? Really? Nothing? I can make a list of things much sleazier than leaving an elderly lady “a bit scraped up” (Phil’s words, not mine).

I guess I missed Sunday School the day they discussed that passage in the Bible that said stealing from or harming a Christian was a bigger sin than doing the same thing to a heathen.

I’m reading Phil Luciano’s article about the girl who stabbed a classmate in the leg at Manual High School. Luciano talked to family and friends of the girl and came away with a sympathetic article about her. It seems she’s a decent kid who was being systematically bullied under the not-so-watchful eyes of teachers and administrators. I’m not going to dispute any of it.

At one point, a teacher was told that this boy and others were touching girls in the classroom. The teacher moved the boys to another side of the room. I can only hope that the girls’ complaints weren’t clear about what kind of “touching” was going on. State law requires teachers to report sexual abuse of children. The would include a gang of boys getting grabby with ANY part of a girl’s ananomy. It’s a form of sexual abuse.

And what kind of classroom is this in which a teacher doesn’t see this going on?

And the fact that the boys kept doing this meant they weren’t very worried about getting caught, let alone punished. Any why should they? When a complaint was made all that happened was that they were moved to another side of the room.

I suspect that there’s something in the culture at Manual High School that needs to be addressed.

And if this girl was in fact being systematically bullied, then her using a knife to defend herself seems perfectly justified, in my opinion. It’s easy to pontificate after the fact about how it’s a poor solution to the problem. Well, it beats the “no solution” being offered by a school district that does not or will not see what’s going on.

In today’s column, Phil Luciano lets readers know that he is a member of the faculty at Bradley University, a fact he did not mention in two recent columns that sided with BU students regarding the last week’s incident in which an allegedly intoxicated city council member confronted members of Sigma Nu over multiple noise complaints stemming from a late-night outdoor drinking party.

And I have to hand it to Phi. He graciously conceded that this fact should have been included in the columns and then he apologized for not doing so.

Just kidding. His apology consisted of one word, “oopsie.” He then devoted the rest of the column ridiculing anyone who suggested he was Bradley’s “stooge.” He cited several obnoxious phone calls and emails to prove his point about his critics.

I’m betting as least some of those emails and phone calls were more lucid and sincere (at least more sincere than Phil’s apology), but he won’t share those because they don’t prove his point that anyone who would criticize him is a moron.

My message to Phil: You’ve dipped your toe into the cleansing waters of journalistic transparency by revealing the potential conflict of interest regarding Bradley University. Why not dive in and share ALL your emails on the subject?

Phil Luciano once again discusses the conflict between Bradley University students and neighbors. And once again, he essentially sides with students by claiming that the problem isn’t the noise, litter, public drinking, fireworks, public urination and the occasionally fatality. The problem is that the permanent residents and property taxpayers aren’t making the students feel welcome.

This is Luciano’s second column in as many days about the issue. And for the second time, he failed to mention that he gets a paycheck from Bradley University. That’s a potential conflict of interest at least as large as the fact that I’m friends with Barbara Van Auken.

Some observations on this matter:

• Many of the folks who are criticizing Van Auken for confronting Sigma Nu over its outdoor drinking party would be criticizing her if she had done nothing about the problems these residents are trying to fight. City Council elections are coming up, and battle lines are being drawn. I fully expect the editorial and news pages of the Journal Star to pimp for whoever runs against Van Auken.
• I’ve lived next door to a crack house. I’ve lived a few blocks from a frat house. If I had to chose between the two, with no other options, I’d be hard pressed to come to a decision.
• Luciano quotes an anonymous father of some anonymous frat kid, upset that the neighbors are picking on his precious little snowflake. This speaks volumes to me. Would Luciano quote a permanent resident anonymously? Doubt it.

They said irony was dead after 9-11. Apparently, “they” haven’t been reading Phil Luciano’s column in the Journal Star. His April 25 entry is especially ironic. It ends with this question: “Does anyone else in PeoriaLand hate the requisite nightly blurbs that our TV newscasts squander on Bloomington-Normal?”

I sure do, Phil. That’s why I wrote about it in the March “City Beat.” As I recall, I criticized all Peoria-area media — including the Journal Star — for spending too much time reporting on the Bloomington/Normal area. That’s been a consistent complaint of mine since I started this column.

Phil also uncorked this statement: “Can’t Bloomington-Normal get their own newscast?”

Umm, Phil? Ever hear of WYZZ? Channel 43? It’s carried on Insight cable channel 6. They’re the FOX network affiliate that shows “The Simpsons.” They have a nightly 9 p.m. newscast. Sure, it’s broadcast out of WMBD-TV’s studios on North University Street in Peoria, but it is a Bloomington/Normal newscast.

Oh, and one more thing, Phil: Stop referring to the Peoria area as “PeoriaLand.” It really annoys the natives.

phil luciano,WYZZ,journal star

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